Old age deserves respect

Synopsis : We all get old someday.This blog  deals with many issues that old people face and try to cope with .This blog shows how to overcome old age problems in a pragmatic way and what the young people need to learn about respect.

Old age deserves respect

Source : Google photo

I remember a movie I saw in The United States called A man called horse which was about the life of the native Americans and the harsh way they had to adjust to the severe winter and the often scarce availability of food at times. It made them move frequently their camp in search for food and water so they were experts in setting up their tepee in a new location and also in dismantling the tepees that was done exclusively by the women.

The Native Americans took the word practicality to its extreme and discarded anything or anyone in its name. There was one scene when a very old and feeble woman was turned out of their tepee to die in the freezing cold and snow blizzard because they could not care for the sick and very old people who had outlived their usefulness in their nomadic life.

The scene was so pathetic that it brought tears to my eyes watching the old woman slowly freezing to her death. Perhaps they were practical people to whom life or death meant very little because they lived a precarious life of hunting and gathering where old people became a liability.

I often think of this topic because everybody gets old someday and faces the challenges all old people face at some point and often fall short of meeting these challenges due to many reasons that I want to write about today.

I have a written a blog called The old age care that is perhaps worth reading in this context.

We now live in the era of practicality just like the Native Americans did so long ago and have not learned to treat old people with respect they deserve. The Confucian ideology that promotes love and respect for the old age parents and grandparents has seen a dilution due to a large measure of economic pressure under which people now live but this lack of respect and care for the olds has more to do with the attitude and is not always about money.

The joint family system that was practiced in some parts of India where the grandparents and parents lived together with their sons under one roof distributed the income evenly among all although not all the sons were earning.

It worked until the sons got married and brought into the family a woman from another family. She had no love or loyalty for the in-laws and demanded that her husband spend the money he earned for her and her children and not share with the others so it brought about a fracture in the joint family system that slowly fell apart.

Now if we observe the present situation, we learn that sons live separately and some keep the grandparents and parents with them grudgingly or at best with indifference because they have lost faith in the old Confucian system.

This has something to do with the loss of respect the daughter in law has that the sons condone to keep peace so the olds are tolerated but not respected. This puts the olds in a precarious situation so some go to live in the old age homes but it is not for everybody. These old age homes are not for the poor because they are run as business and cater to those who can afford the cost.

The vast majority of old people have no choice but to live the rest of their life with their sons or spinster daughters. I have written about the abuse they suffer silently and pray that the Good Lord takes them.

There was a movie made by Satyajit Ray a long time ago called The diary of the road ( Pather panchali ) that won many awards for its graphic depiction of the old age problems. I remember one particular scene in the movie where an old woman rocked to and fro in her village porch late at night with an oil lamp when everyone was sleeping singing O Lord my day is over, it is now the evening of my life. Please take me now.

It was a classic movie that highlighted a problem the society has faced since a long time and still does but it is pathetic and no less sad than the Native American woman freezing to death in the blizzard at night. They felt the uselessness of their lives because they were unloved and uncared for.

Now I read the news about the young people in Spain attacking the retired old people who meant no harm to anyone so what makes the young people behave this way? Some old people live on their pensions or own resources so they are no burden to anyone while others less fortunate have to live with their sons.

I think the arrogance of youth that has no reverence for anyone especially old people has something to do with it. Where does this arrogance come from?

I have often heard people say that respect must be earned but it goes against the Confucian practice of showing respect to any and all. Your parents do not have to prove their worth to earn the respect of their children but should be respected without conditions because parenting is a hard job anywhere and they make a lot of sacrifices to raise their children. Your grandparents deserve even more respect because they raised your father so well and used their hard-earned life long experience to do so.

This is where the orient and the occident part ways in understanding what it means to show respect to the old people and the meaning of duty and filial subservience.

I think the fault lies with the people old or young who insist on being called on a first name basis  so a child can call his grandfather John or his mother and father by their first name. This is where the seed of disrespect is sown that later blossoms into something else. This is common in the western culture.

It is easy to show disrespect if you do not love someone so it prepares the ground for the lack of care and concern for the olds when they need it the most.

The respect comes from the realization that you owe your existence to your parents. They not only feed you but protect you from harm and always look after your wellbeing although it is also true that some parents do not do a good job due to some problems of their own.

In the animal kingdom from which I always draw my analogy, the relationship between the mother and the offspring is quite clear-cut and visible. The females will fight to death to protect the young but at a certain time will wean them off and push them onto their own. The lion will not tolerate any challenge from its grown up male cubs and may even kill them.

This is where we are different from the animals. We do not challenge our sons when we become dependent on them in the old age and submit to their wishes because we become helpless. The in law factor looms large in such situations but not limited to it.

If the sons show a lack of respect to their parents and grandparents then it rubs off on their progeny who grow up discourteous towards them including the parents.

The frequent break ups of families due to the discord between the parents in the western culture is perhaps one reason when children in such dysfunctional families who suffer the most start to treat their parents with less than respect if they suspect their parents of infidelity, mismanagement of the family resources and negligence in their parental duties due to selfishness.

While infidelity can cause to break a family apart causing distress to the children, it is not the only reason for the break up in the family. It may be excessive drinking or gambling or other vices that make a family split apart. Why some people drink and gamble is another story that has been written about in my other blogs.

The Catholics forbid divorce in many countries so the parents may commit indiscretions due to reasons of their own and still stay together but it breeds contempt for them among the children and some may even do the same when they are adults.

When the parents and grandparents lose their moral ascendancy over the next generation due to their own personal behaviors, they lose respect that would be given them otherwise. So it is how we behave makes people respect or disrespect us.

There was an advertisement I saw in TV where the grandfather was offering a drink of whiskey to his grandson who put his arm on his grandfather’s shoulder in a very patronizing way. Such ads would be banned outright in more traditional societies where such behavior would be taboo but is common in the west.

With the industrialization and rapid urbanization comes pressure to limit the size of the family and live a more self-centered life from which the parents may be excluded. But this exclusion may also come about if the sons and daughters get jobs in different cities or even different countries and settle down there leaving the ageing parents at home with no one to look after them.

In many such cases the sons and daughters may decide to put them in old age homes where they receive some care. The old age illnesses are perhaps one reason for it but it may be also because the old age homes provide an alternative to lonely living. The Alzheimer or dementia that affects so many old people can be very alarming so some countries like Japan are taking steps to identify such people and put electronic bracelets on them for tracking purposes.

The old age problems will not go away as people are living longer these days so have to face some of the problems. The question is how to deal with it effectively. Those who can afford can opt for the old age homes but how about those who can’t afford? The vast majority of the old people can’t afford so they stay with their sons in patriarchal societies and daughters in matriarchal ones like here in the Philippines.

The disrespect shown by the young people toward the old people in some countries comes from the deterioration of moral values that the older generation failed to teach through their own example and traditions.

When some respect is shown toward them, they are more surprised than happy because it has become rare. When I gave up my seat in the bus to an old lady in Washington, D.C. one day, she was speechless and then effusive in thanking me although to me it was a normal thing to do.  It is not so normal. I see the arrogant young people sitting in subways not giving a seat to the elderly while playing with their cell phones or listening to the I- tunes in their headphones.

This lack of courtesy and empathy to the olds breeds contempt that others take to an extreme when they attack and kill some old people for fun like in Spain recently.

The remorse or regret that may eventually come to the young people who one day get old and get the same treatment from the new generation by then  is too late to make any  meaningful changes in their lives so they blame it on their parents who failed to teach them good values.

So I think we all share the responsibility of teaching and learning together the core values that guide the decency and moral behavior in all of us and solve this problem together.

There is no other way.

Note :  My blogs are also available in French, Spanish, German and Japanese  languages at the following links as well as my biography:

Mes blogs en français.

Mis blogs en espagnol

Blogs von Anil in Deutsch

Blogs in Japanese

My blogs at Wix site

tumblr posts    

Blogger.com

Medium.com

Anil’s biography in English.

Biographie d’Anil en français

La biografía de anil en español.

Anil’s Biografie auf Deutsch

Anil’s biography in Japanese

Биография Анила по-русски

Note : Many readers have told me that the Internet Explorer (IE) browser seems to be not compatible with wordpress.com so they have difficulties in viewing my blogs properly. I suggest that you download Opera mini or Firefox or Google chrome browsers to your devices to get fast browsing experience. Opera mini and Firefox browsers are free to download and are superfast. Hope this solves the problem.

Soulless development

Synopsis: The rampant development without considering the social nature of human beings is the subject of this blog that emphasizes the need for social interaction to reduce loneliness and apathy.

Soulless development

Source: Google photo

There was a time not too long ago when people lived in closer proximity to each other, shared the living space with others, knew their neighbors quite well if not intimately and led a vibrant social life. They met frequently, played cards or other games together or simply hung around to chat over a cup of tea or coffee.

They asked about each other’s welfare, knew their birthdays and invited them to their family affairs like birthdays, anniversaries or marriage. They attended each other’s funerals and contributed money if needed if the neighbor needed a bit of help in paying some bills.

They fished together in mountain streams smoking their pipes and exchanged news and gossips or new ideas to do things together. They came to help if your roof needed fixing after a storm or some such repairs. They brought with them some tools that you did not have to get the repair done.

Most of all they shared the same religious beliefs and went to the church or the mosque together. In short they were good neighbors who showed care and concern and developed a lifelong friendship.

Their children played together and went to the same school and often formed romantic bonds in high school that ended up in marriage thus binding the families together.

You saw the close-knit communities in many parts of the world where women shared the same well for water and washing their clothes while exchanging news. Children played nearby where the old people kept an eye on them while sipping tea or smoking. This was the kind of community that has almost totally vanished from cities because of what I call the soulless development everywhere that has become the model of urban development.

It started with the advent of simple automobiles like Ford, Volkswagen beetle, 2 CV and tiny Fiats that made a drastic impact on how we live and where. Because people wanted mobility at a cost they could afford so they willingly moved into suburbs thus breaking up the model of integrated and connected communities.

Source :Google photo

This type of suburban development started in the United States that others imitated without considering the social cost of such development that has far-reaching consequences as we will further discuss in this blog.

The automobile made it easier to live far from the city in neatly spaced houses and tree-lined streets with modern houses with garage and lawn in front and the appearance of respectability because it promoted an upward mobility in terms of living standard.

Then came the multistoried apartment blocks that offered people a choice of living in close proximity packed like pigeons in their holes yet aloof to each other even if a thin wall separated them.  One could hear the loud music next door or the family quarrels that often led to disputes, altercations and outright hostility because no one cared for anyone and no one felt that they lived in a community.

Source : Google photo of derelict mass housing for the poor

They built massive and quite ugly utilitarian tenement housing for the poor that are a blot to the aesthetics anywhere because the poor had to be housed cheaply somewhere but they forgot to put elevators in such monstrous buildings and with poor or no maintenance of the facilities. So the poor live in these derelict tenement housings where the window panes get broken and patched up with newspapers and where the garbage collects in staircases because it is not picked up regularly. The hallways and alleyways are filled with people smoking pot or something more serious because they are failures in their life.

The crime festers in such housing complexes where people live in fear and desperation because it is so dismal and unhealthy.

Sadly this model of development has been picked up by other countries where they mimic the suburban development style of America and  even build massive ugly tenements that I just mentioned.

For the rich and very rich, there are gated communities with  24 hour security guards at the gate who check who comes or goes out and monitor the security through cctv  cameras mounted at strategic places. These exclusive housing estates are euphemistically called villages but there is nothing village like there. In such places crimes like murder are committed but no one comes to see if they need help.

The prevailing sentiment is not to be involved so they see nothing and hear nothing  because they don’t want to be involved.

The apathy and mistrust is so extreme in such places that a neighbor calls the police because his next door neighbor was trying to unlock his door at night and could not find the proper key. The police comes, roughly pushes the man to the ground, hand cuffs him while the fellow protests saying that he owns the house and was trying to find the right keys to enter.

It is all because the neighbors do not know each other and call the police because they are so paranoid instead of coming and helping. One can be impressed by the massive houses and fancy cars parked in front until they know that it is such a soulless place where no one cares for anyone and call the police at the slightest so-called infraction , where people live in their big houses as isolated as they can be and are lonely.

I have heard of horror stories of old people dead for days or weeks but no one checks on them until the stench of death reaches their sensitive nostrils and only then they call the police. There are millions of old people who live like this in complete isolation  in their homes where the nearest neighbor never comes to say hello.

This sort of tragedy does not happen in villages in poorer countries where thankfully people still care for each other but the soulless urban development seems to be the model other countries follow.

Source : Google photo of Pyongyang

If you see the wide empty boulevards of Pyongyang in North Korea where almost no one walks in the streets, where the modern  sterile emptiness is their hallmark of development, you will get the idea. There are very few cars on the road that high officials drive so poor people just walk.

I was shocked to see  in Sophia  the same thing. The wide straight boulevards were empty of vehicles and people and where box like ugly buildings lined the streets giving the impression of a ghost town at 7 pm where everything was neat and orderly but with no soul.

If you visit  Washington,  D.C. , you will notice the massive orderly buildings and wide roads ,the Mall and the Lincoln memorial at the end  all very impressive and neatly laid out but the city empties at 5pm when almost everyone leaves for the suburban homes except the very poor who live in derelict homes in the inner city. All the shops are shuttered; streets almost empty and old homosexuals prowl the streets looking for companions. The few bars that remain open are scary places straight out of mafia movies with dark and foreboding interior and dimly lit places where a few sip their drinks morosely. I was told that the mafia people collect the jukebox money regularly in such places.

The Dupont Circle at night is a place where the drug addicts hang out and some play bongo drums but also bother anyone passing by for money. It is such a soulless city that it is pathetic.

The city planners are well-educated people who know how to plan for a modern city that looks nice with parks, wide straight roads and monuments. They are meticulous in their plans so they limit the height of buildings and where the open spaces should be. They even forbid the buildings that do not conform to the approved architecture or even the color they use in painting. Everything must be picture perfect just like in North Korea. The only thing missing is the people who are supposed to make any city lively.

During my travel, I have visited many cities and their suburbs and have noted this streak of utilitarianism that was the hallmark of the Soviet Union. A building may be ugly but must be utilitarian. The FAO office in Rome is such an example but Rome is full of massive ugly buildings built during the Mussolini era that blot the landscape.

When I come back to Asia ,I notice that  people still have some sense of the community and live close to each other and often know their neighbors in some places . But this interactive community spirit is deeply rooted in the culture of any country. Where they do not have the community spirit like here in the Philippines, the modern yet soul less housing development is the norm.

China has taken this sort of development a step further by rapidly building massive cities and Malls in a picture perfect manner where the streets are empty and the Malls are shuttered because there are no people living there. The same thing has happened in Spain where during the housing boom, the developers built massive housing complexes all very neat and modern but they remain empty.

I realize that people want to live in modern homes with electricity, water and ample living space. Who doesn’t? The problem as I see is the development of suburbia without considering how it affects the social life of people living there. If people live quite apart from each other then they tend to remain apart and aloof because the model is based on nuclear family where each person is on his own.

The ideal would have been the houses developed as a cluster around a common courtyard where children played together and where the neighbors sat to drink tea or smoke. This was the old model the Chinese have now discarded in favor of the western style housing development.

We humans are social animals and thrive on mixing with others socially.  My father had his card games in the evening with his neighbors, my mom had her social club of ladies where they exchanged new sweater or crochet designs, my siblings had their own friends they hung out with and I too had my playmates to go to the park with every day.

We played monopoly and carom together. We played cricket together in the park and we splashed color on each other during the Holi festival. We went house to house where they all treated us with sweets and cookies because everyone knew everyone. That was the communal spirit I am writing about that is vanishing right before our eyes.

By and large this type of social activity has vanished in India so they too watch their color TV with 90 channels morosely while the kids play with their touch screen cell phones. This is the trend worldwide and it is quite disheartening because when people become unsocial due to the design of the suburban dwellings that are wide apart, the streets remain empty where few people pass by each other without saying hello.

I have seen this in the modern city of Canberra where I offered to help remove the weeds of a neighbor from his front lawn but he became alarmed. Perhaps he thought that I wanted money. Here too the same thing happens when I bring some plants from our garden to our neighbors who want to know if they have to pay and how much.

What happened to sharing? What happened to dropping by and enjoying a cup of tea or coffee together and ask how are you doing? I think that the modern development that the city planners are pursuing blindly following the American or the European model has some drawbacks because it is based on the automobile.

Now imagine if millions of people rush to get their own car then where they will park them? You already see this in Europe where the streets are narrow because they are old cities that were planned for horse carts and chariots and not modern automobiles so people park their cars on both side of the street making the narrow streets even narrower.

There are traffic jams in China now that can be a hundred kilometers in length, so bad is the situation there. The pollution caused by all the vehicles is another big issue that some countries have great difficulty is solving. Thousands of new cars hit the road in Delhi alone every month where the traffic problem is nightmarish already and where parking is at a premium.

I would like to see that the development does not come at the cost of living apart from each other because that has severe social consequences I have written about in my previous blogs. We have a lot to learn from the animal kingdom where they know the value of socializing.

I would like to see that people wake up and go back to their roots when riding a bicycle was pleasant and people did not worry about car payment, garage and fighting the immense traffic congestion caused by all the cars.

Now in some cities they are introducing the bicycle sharing schemes to reduce the number of cars but will it work? I do not know.

Do we still value social interaction or do we want to become another Pyongyang? The choice is ours to make.

Note :  My blogs are also available in French, Spanish, German and Japanese  languages at the following links as well as my biography:

Mes blogs en français.

Mis blogs en espagnol

Blogs von Anil in Deutsch

Blogs in Japanese

My blogs at Wix site

tumblr posts    

Blogger.com

Medium.com

Anil’s biography in English.

Biographie d’Anil en français

La biografía de anil en español.

Anil’s Biografie auf Deutsch

Anil’s biography in Japanese

Биография Анила по-русски

Note : Many readers have told me that the Internet Explorer (IE) browser seems to be not compatible with wordpress.com so they have difficulties in viewing my blogs properly. I suggest that you download Opera mini or Firefox or Google chrome browsers to your devices to get fast browsing experience. Opera mini and Firefox browsers are free to download and are superfast. Hope this solves the problem.

A morbid fascination

Synopsis: We are all fascinated by blood and gore and see it in the media everyday that has severe social consequences. This blog throws some critical light on his subject and makes people think of the effect of all the violence in the media on our personal lives.

A morbid fascination:

Source : google photo

We humans have a morbid fascination about blood and gore that has led to showing of extreme violence and bloodletting on television and in movies. I have seen this whenever there is an accident and someone is seriously injured bleeding to death , people gather around not to help but to gawk at the poor fellow who is in desperate need of help. Some even take photos with the cell phones although for what purpose I am not sure.

This is the dark side of the human nature that is often overlooked but it is quite pervasive in our society that shows this fascination to violence as long as it does not affect them personally.

I have also seen blood and gore in Vietnam during the war where I often came across mutilated bodies of VietCongs even outside my home but it gave me shivers and haunted me for days. I could never get used to it but the old ladies going to the market early in the morning with the baskets in hand chatted as if it was not a big deal and stopped to look at the bodies with fascination.

I can never really understand this fascination people have but I have seen it everywhere. What is worse is that the children are exposed to such things so early in their life and wonder how they can get used to it and what effect it has on them.

I saw the slaughter of goats at the temple during the Kali pooja celebration once a year where the blood ran into the gutters and was watched by the crowd including children but thankfully such practices have stopped. In Nepal the mass slaughter of animals during some Hindu festival had also come under intense criticism from the animal rights people and has been outlawed. But in many other countries this practice of cruelty to animals continues unabated because it is a part of their tribal culture or tradition.

You will be shocked to see the ocean run red with the mass slaughter of dolphins in Japan where they eat the meat although Japan is a civilized society with a long and rich cultural heritage.

In other countries like Spain and Mexico, the bloodletting of handsome bulls is a spectator’s sport although that too has come under pressure to stop and I hope that they will stop someday.

The movies and television:

The movie and the TV industry has not shied away from the fascination people have for violence and produce films like Kill Bill , GodFather and so many others that show extreme violence in graphic details that everyone watches. The ratings that are flashed on-screen saying that it is not suitable for children etc. has no effect because children watch them at home when parents are away.

Not to be outdone, the animated movie makers do the same and inundate the TV with their violent depiction of scenes so a three-year old watching such movies picks up a loaded gun that his father left at home carelessly, points it at his 2-year-old sister and pulls the trigger saying bang-bang just like in the movies.

He does not know what it means to kill someone but looks at her gasping for breath while bleeding to death because he does not know what death is. He is simply mimicking what he sees on TV all the time.

Now you can see the video game parlors sprouting all over the country where children and some adults keep feeding the machines with coins and play the violent video games that allows them to shoot, kill or knock out with punches someone on-screen over and over again until the screen says Game over Insert coins.

This fascination with violent video games does not hurt anyone as they claim but I wonder if it does not desensitize a child to violence and leave a long-lasting impression on him as he grows up and perhaps ends up into a life of crime that may include such violence. It is easy to see how violent movies or video games can help blur the boundaries between the real and unreal in the mind of a gullible person who may grow up to be apathetic to others and their sufferings.  He may not become a criminal but may be inured to violence as he watches someone bleeding to death and does nothing to help.

It starts with the cruelty to animals like keeping them in cages, torturing them and mistreating them in numerous ways and later practice the same on his wife or children. The domestic violence has its root in the dark side of the human nature that comes to the surface under certain circumstances.

I have seen unbelievable cruelty in Africa where poachers kill a beautiful elephant out of greed for the tusks while leaving the baby elephant that stays with his dead mother, crying and nudging it to feed him. It breaks my heart to see such cruelty that is shown in the National Geographic or Animal planet TV programs daily. How in the name of greed people commit such horrific crimes and not feel an iota of remorse seeing the baby crying for his mother?

How the Japanese can kill the whales and dolphins without guilt and call it their tradition even though the whole world condemns them? I have seen them selling whale meat in their supermarkets in Tokyo where you can wait while they fry the meat for you to take home.

There was a time in India where the slaughter of all animals was banned because the country was Buddhist and followed the teachings of Buddha. The Jains still follow the practice of non-violence and can be seen wearing face masks so that they do not kill even a tiny insect by breathing. You can see them feeding the ants early in the morning. But the rest of the world is not like them and continues the slaughter of wildlife and domestic animals.

Now there are alternatives to animal protein like soybean but most people can’t live without animal protein. They do not care how these animals are raised, treated and killed as long as they do not see it and just buy the packaged meat in their supermarkets.

Now some countries are banning the practice of putting live lobsters and crabs into the hot water vats but just go to the Fisherman’s wharf in San Francisco to see how they do it in front of you. You will lose your appetite.

So I come back to the topic of human fascination with the violence and blood that has blighted the humanity since the time unknown and continues today. Now it has touched many sports that I call Blood sports ( read my blog on it called The blood sport) that is even worse because people go to see these blood sports for fun.

There is a TV program where the crocodile and alligator hunters compete with each other trying to kill these animals for the skin and constantly talk of the money they are losing by not catching any alligator. It is the money that motivates these people who will do anything to kill as many crocs as they can so that they can make more money. It is the same motivation for the Africans who kill the elephants and Rhinos and poachers in India killing the beautiful and gorgeous Bengal tigers.

There is the specter of violence in nature. You will see the carnivorous animals killing their prey for food they need. You will see the hawks killing other birds for the same reason. Some say that the killing of the weak animals for food helps the evolution process where the stronger genes are passed on to improve the species in the long run.

But we as humans are different from the animals because we have alternatives that lions and tigers do not have yet we insist on getting our food from the animals. What is the justification for killing the whales and dolphins when there are other alternatives to protein in Japan? There are no answers other than tradition. Can anyone continue a harmful practice in the name of tradition today?

I applaud the Green Peace people who chase off the whaling ships in the ocean to protect the animals but are often short of funds and face constant dangers from the ships.

I applaud the animal rights NGOs that protect and raise orphan animals and release them to the wilderness later. They have put pressure on China to stop the milking of bile from the captive bears that is very painful and inhumane but who listens? They have tried to save hundreds of bears in India from the cruelty they suffer in the hands of nomads and have opened orphanages where such bears are treated kindly.

But who treats a child who grows up seeing and watching violence daily on TV and in the movies? Who tells them that violent video games they play can make them inured to such violence in real life? Who can put pressure on the TV and movie industry to stop making such violent movies who do it for money and do not care of its impact on the society as such?

People who are not influenced by any religion and its dictates can promote violence if it brings them money just like the poachers. This I don’t care attitude to violence often spills into their private home life as well ( read my blog on Domestic violence).

I remember the time when the Quakers in the US protested the war in Vietnam on religious grounds and refused to serve in the army but they were vilified by others. They took the offer of alternative services like volunteering in the development work somewhere but others could not get deferment and were sent to die in Vietnam. This practice still continues in endless wars going on somewhere.

My topic is the influence of violence through the media on our daily life so I must stick to this topic and discuss how we can protect ourselves from this pernicious effect and teach our children that violence in any shape or form is not good and should be avoided although going vegetarian completely can be very challenging to anyone used to eating meat, fish and poultry.

I have no issues with people eating meat. My issue is with the violence shown in the media daily that make us less humane or at best indifferent to the sufferings of other humans and animals through apathy. It is like living in a very noisy place where you learn to ignore the noise until you go to a very quiet place. Only then you realize how much you hate the noise.

It is when you live among the peaceful people who love all animals, you begin to appreciate the absence of violence in their own life and the humane way they treat all life.

 

Note :  My blogs are also available in French, Spanish, German and Japanese  languages at the following links as well as my biography:

Mes blogs en français.

Mis blogs en espagnol

Blogs von Anil in Deutsch

Blogs in Japanese

My blogs at Wix site

tumblr posts    

Blogger.com

Medium.com

Anil’s biography in English.

Biographie d’Anil en français

La biografía de anil en español.

Anil’s Biografie auf Deutsch

Anil’s biography in Japanese

Биография Анила по-русски

Note : Many readers have told me that the Internet Explorer (IE) browser seems to be not compatible with wordpress.com so they have difficulties in viewing my blogs properly. I suggest that you download Opera mini or Firefox or Google chrome browsers to your devices to get fast browsing experience. Opera mini and Firefox browsers are free to download and are superfast. Hope this solves the problem.

The effect of mass tourism

Synopsis: The global effect of mass tourism cannot be overlooked in its negative impact on the local culture and traditions .This blog studies its impact in the social structure , degradation of moral values and the economy of the countries affected and the backlash the mass tourism suffers in some parts of the world.

The effect of mass tourism

Source : Google photo

These days you can see the tourism within the country and outside grow remarkably giving rise to the notion of mass tourism. There are group tours that are organized by the tourism department in many countries and there are tours offered by the airlines specially the budget airlines that have led to the growth in tourism in a phenomenal way.

The newspapers are full of advertisements that offer a 3 day package tour to many parts of the world that include air fare, hotel and transport and often some help in procuring the travel documents and visas. You can only wonder what anyone can see in 3 days in a country like China or India that has so much to offer and can keep you busy for months but the average tourist does not care.

He gets off the plane, rushes into a bus and furiously clicks his camera pointing at anything and everything to watch later, hops onto the waiting bus to take him to the next attraction. There is tremendous time pressure to see everything the tour offers within the time provided so the tour guide keeps this pressure on the group by saying that you must be back in exactly half an hour or you will risk of being left behind.

That scares people in a foreign country so they rush and return to their buses panting with exertion and not really enjoying the Taj Mahal or the terra-cotta army in China. To make people observe the time provided, the guides will accompany the group with a bull horn in hand so that no one wanders away alone getting lost or mugged by unscrupulous people who are out to make hay while the tourism sun shines.

To make the matter worse, the tour buses are clearly marked with huge signs like TOURIST that attracts all the rabble who want to make quick money so a cup of tea that normally sells for only 5 Rupees now sells for 50. The vendors grin while pocketing the loot and say that the tourists are rich and they are foreigners so they are easy to cheat.

There is another scam the locals are very good at. I saw it in India where the guide will bring you to particular shops where you may buy a few touristy things and where the guide quietly collects his commission from the shop owner. The owners are no fools because they include the commission they have to pay in the price they charge but the tourist either does not know or care.If the shop owner refuses to pay commission to the guide and charges a lower price to his customer then the next time the guide will not bring the tourists there and boycott.

If you go to Agra which is a favorite tourist city, you will be assailed by the rickshaw drivers waiting at the railway station and will offer to bring you to the sites like Taj Mahal etc. at a very cheap price but will stop at numerous shops whether you like it or not and collect commission if you buy something there. The shop owners are Shylocks who want their pound of flesh and will not let you go away easily without buying anything. The same thing happens in other countries. Only the degree of exploitation varies.

In Bangkok the tuk tuk drivers will offer you their service for less than a dollar for half a day but will always bring you to the jewelry shops just in case you buy something there because the government pays for their gasoline if they bring you to the shops.

The other scam the tour operators advertise is to say that the tour will last 3 nights and 4 days to make it sound of a longer period than it really is although people are not so easily fooled.

The countries that depend on tourism as a source of major revenue try to make it easier for the tourist to get a short duration visa upon arrival often for free because they are eager for your tourist dollars. There are millions of people who are employed in the tourism industry worldwide and suffer if for some reasons the tourists stop coming.

The advent of budget airlines has fueled the mass tourism in a way that was not possible a few years ago when tourism was so expensive but more enjoyable. I remember the time when a round the world Pan Am economy class ticket valid for one year was sold for about 1200 US dollars but the passenger had the choice of spending the entire year travelling and stopping at all the places where Pan Am landed but that was in 1960s and the Pan Am has gone out of business.

Now such a fare around the world will cost a lot more so most people join the 3 day 4 night deals with their digital cameras in hand. Never mind the rush and the palpitations.

The camera toting tourists attract scalpers like fleas to a street dog in Tijuana who take full advantage of the situation because they know that these foreigners will not come back so they cheat them. The locals are smarter and will fight back and bargain like crazy.

But the bargaining is a skill that is a learned experience. If the seller asks for 50 US dollars when the price is far less than just offer 20 and start walking away. They will catch up with you soon and offer 30 which can be whittled down to 25 if you do not show much interest. People from industrialized countries are in general very poor bargainers because back home everything has a fixed priced on them. It is really no wonder that the scalpers crowd around the Americans and Japanese more than others.

The effect of mass tourism on locals:

Source : Google photo

This is a topic less discussed but felt just the same everywhere. I have seen the tourists showing a careless attitude toward the locals when they strip naked to swim in the rivers or other places where the locals are modest. A lack of understanding of the local culture or their indifference toward it has the negative effect on the locals who are shocked.

In many religious places, the priests insist on dress code that all must observe and deny entry to anyone who does not wear proper clothes. In some countries like Thailand, they will offer you pants to wear where shorts or miniskirts are not allowed in some shrines of religious importance.

In some places you can get into trouble if you ignore the No photography signs so a guide is needed to tell the group about such regulations. Often the rules are made to protect the business interests of the locals who want to sell you their expensive slides or photos.

But there are many pernicious effects of mass tourism on the locals. Soon young girls start to wear skimpy clothes because that is what they see on foreign tourists but it goes against the culture so you can imagine the clashes with the older and stricter generation that does not approve.

I remember a case when a teenage concert singer gave a show that was very popular with the young people but very unpopular with the old people who disapproved her skimpy clothes and her sexual gyrations on stage that made them show their anger by throwing tomatoes and even stones so the concert was canceled.

While it is true that the mass tourism brings in the dollars and employs a lot of locals in the industry, it does bring in the unwanted influence of ignorant tourist behaviors on the tradition and culture in a very negative way.

When we were in Naini Tal which is a hill resort town in the northern mountains of India, we were asked to vacate our room by the hotel manager because a tour group was arriving. He said that his income depended upon such tour groups and not on individuals like us because it was the tourist season.

Their dining facility was closed to guests and reserved only for the tour groups that travelled on package tours including meals. I saw this phenomenon in many places in India.

You have perhaps heard of the extortion by the camel drivers near the Pyramids in Egypt who will very eagerly get you up on a camel but then will demand a big amount before he will order the camel to let you down. Now try to imagine yourself stranded on a 10 foot high camel who only obeys his master and not you in the 40 degree heat. Suddenly the pyramids will lose their attractions.

The foreign tourists help raise the price of everything so it becomes harder for the locals to enjoy tourism at a normal rate that they can afford. In some countries as large as India, you are considered a tourist if you are from Deep South or some other parts of India therefore subject to exploitation by the locals. When south Indian tourists visit Allahabad as pilgrims, the boats men charge them exorbitant rates to bring them to the confluence of the Ganga and Yamuna river. It is also the open season for the fake priests called pandas there.

Once my brother had to intervene and stop this abuse of southerners by the boats men but they retorted by saying that it was their chance to rip off the ignorant pilgrims who did not speak the language so they were fair game.

Our daughter was also fleeced this way at Haridwar by the so-called Hindu priests who offered her prayers etc. at a ridiculous price because the word tourist was written all over her speaking only English and therefore fair game. I forgot to warn her of these scalpers. There, anyone wearing saffron robe is called priest so one has to be very wary of them and avoid.

Another common scam is to tell you that such and such monument or site is closed for the day if the taxi man or the rickshaw driver does not want to go there for his own reasons.

The effect of mass tourism today has a deadening effect on the sensibilities of the locals as well as the tourists which does not bode well for the country as a whole. Some part of the culture is assailed and it leaves its mark in a way that can be unpleasant. It also promotes greed and dishonesty among the people who try to take advantage of the tourists to make money and make a killing even if it goes against their culture of hospitality and fairness.

It is true that the group tour participants are somewhat protected by their guides as we were in South India from unscrupulous people, some people still get taken advantage of.

I think tourism is great and anyone who can afford should go and visit other places because there are so many beautiful places to see and experience that can be life changing in knowledge and perspective about any country but it should not come at a price of leaving a bad impression on the locals because you were fleeced or you showed insensitivity to their culture by bathing nude.

As more and more people travel these days, the world as we know keeps on shrinking so the challenge is to maintain the balance between the enjoyments that sight-seeing brings and the problems that it creates in the mad rush to make money from the tourists thus ignoring their traditions and values.

If the mass tourism breeds the unscrupulous like flies then you can imagine its effect on the values and traditions of a country that degenerates slowly but steadily and one day may be lost.

It is like killing the goose that lays the golden eggs. If you take advantage of a tourist, he may not come the next time or may tell others about his experiences in the social media.

People are attracted to a country not only because of its Taj Mahals but also because they have heard that people are so beautiful, their traditions are so great and their values are so great and they are so hospitable.

It is hard to imagine how impressed you will be by the Taj Mahal if you are taken advantage of by the bad people everywhere. No one likes to be abused this way.

The best way to see and enjoy a country is not to be under time pressure and a part of these 3 days 4 night tours that only increases your heart beat rate and empties your pocket but to take it easy and go on your own.

I am not suggesting that you carry a bundle of weed ( translation- Marijuana for those who are not familiar with the colloquial term)with you to help you along and pierce your nose, ears and other parts imitating the locals but taking it easy is perhaps the best way. Some will go the whole hog and wear local clothes and tattoos but it does not fool anyone.

I know because I have done so myself going alone and did not regret it. So if you want really to enjoy visiting other countries, do so at your own pace on your own terms and sit and meditate at the shrine of Swami Vivekananda in Kanya Kumari where you will forget all your worries at least for a while.

Source : Google photo of the shrine of Vivekananda in Kanya Kumari ,India

 

Note :  My blogs are also available in French, Spanish, German and Japanese  languages at the following links as well as my biography:

Mes blogs en français.

Mis blogs en espagnol

Blogs von Anil in Deutsch

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My blogs at Wix site

tumblr posts    

Blogger.com

Medium.com

Anil’s biography in English.

Biographie d’Anil en français

La biografía de anil en español.

Anil’s Biografie auf Deutsch

Anil’s biography in Japanese

Биография Анила по-русски

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Is honesty outdated?

Synopsis : It seems that the basic honesty is in short supply these days so this blog examines the reasons and how it affects the daily lives of people everywhere hoping that some people will learn to value honesty again.

Is honesty outdated?

Source : Google photo

There was an old woman who dropped a packet of money in a super market recently and started crying when she realized that she had lost her money this way which was a great amount and the only money she had for her family. When the security guard asked why she was so upset she shed more tears and told him her problem.

But unknown to her, a young girl saw the packet on the floor and stepped on it right away and asked her father what to do with it because she saw that it was full of money. Her father replied that she should return it to the security guard who will find the person who lost it and return the money to her.

Luckily the old woman was still nearby so the money was returned to her and it made her very happy and thankful to the young girl who replied that it was the right thing to do because the money did not belong to her.

This incident was reported to the TV host of a program who praised the young girl and made a scholarship available for her college education. He also wished that everyone was so honest and helpful.

There was another case of a janitor who found a huge packet of money and some jewelries in the airport in Manila and promptly reported it to the guards there who then found the passenger who had dropped the package somewhere and was frantic with worries. This incident also made great news in a country full of bad news of robbery, murder and mayhem every day. The TV host praised the poor janitor for his honesty and found many sponsors for a great reward for him and scholarships for his children’s education.

There are a few honest taxi drivers who find money or cell phones etc. left behind by passengers in a hurry and find ways to return them to the grateful owners. But it is also true that honesty is in short supply these days where a single incident mentioned above makes national headline in the media that is starved for good news.

What you hear almost every day is the dishonesty of maids who steal from their employers, baggage handlers at the airports who steal from the passenger’s bags and cashiers at the supermarkets who punch three times the price of an item when she should do it only once. There are endless stories of people who borrow money but run away with it with no intention of ever paying it back and there are stories of government officials from the lowest paid to the highest who steal the tax payer’s money without shame to enrich themselves.

We now live in a society where dishonesty is so rampant that a rare case of honesty makes national headline when it should have been a very normal thing to be honest. I was told that in some Scandinavian countries, no one locks his doors and people leaving behind some package by mistake are sure to find it where they have left it because no one will take it.

Sadly this is not the case elsewhere. Once we were riding the train in the Philippines at night when the train derailed at a rural site and the carriages tilted over. I was so worried by this accident that I pulled by wife and daughter quickly out of the carriage and were safe but the big bag I dropped on the ground in total darkness went missing. Someone had simply walked off with it.

When there is an accident on the expressway, often the injured and dying are robbed by the poor people instead of helping the victim and call for police or ambulance which goes to show the degeneration of moral values among the poor.

In some countries, people are more helpful and come to assist you right away guided by their moral values that help the needy. I was very pleasantly surprised when our child who had an accident in Mexico City Park one day falling from a swing was almost instantly helped by someone who called a social worker who came right away and called the Cruz Roja hospital that sent an ambulance quickly.

We could not thank the excellent doctors of the hospital enough who took our son to surgery right away and fixed his broken bone in the arm without charge but we donated some money to the hospital anyway. They did not ask if we had insurance or means to pay for the expenses. The Mexican people are so good and honest that it will melt you heart no matter what some say about their drug lords and other criminals.

I have been travelling through many countries and have experienced the basic goodness of people in many places and also known how low some people can get. If you go to Masai Mara in Kenya, you will never know who will run away with your camera bag or other things while you are admiring the lions and hippos. It has happened to someone I knew. The thieves’ market in Rome is notorious and lives up to its name any day although I found Italians very kind and hospitable almost everywhere except in Rome.

I think there is a great divide between the rural folks and the city people that is quite noticeable in some countries. Poorer the country, more criminals in cities is what I notice. While the rural folks are basically honest people, it is not so in some cities where the criminality thrives among the squatters and downtrodden who will do anything to get some money. This is perhaps out of desperation more than anything else but rural people are also poor but never desperate like the city poor.

There was a case when I was walking in downtown Nairobi one day when I saw a fellow drop a packet near me and walked on hurriedly. I put my foot down on the packet and saw that it was full of money so I called the fellow because I felt that perhaps he did not know that he had dropped something. But he walked on and disappeared leaving me with the dilemma as to what to do now. All of a sudden a young boy no more than 12 years old tried to grab the packet and run away but I swiftly caught his arm while he squirmed to get away with the money. Now the crowd started gathering to see what was happening and making comments while I started to think what to do next.

If I gave the money to the policemen who are notoriously corrupt, they will keep the money and put me in jail for alleged complicity. If I gave in to the temptation of sharing the money with the kid as he was suggesting showing me a nearby public toilet, perhaps his accomplices waiting there would knife me and run with the packet. So I finally let the boy go with the money who kept on saying that he got lucky. Perhaps he was lucky that it was I who found the money and gave it to him.

All this happened before one could count 20 so I felt that it was I who was lucky that day in Nairobi and did not get into trouble.

I think the moral degradation of values has something to do with the lack of faith in religion among the very poor urban squatters because all religions preach the moral code of conduct. Thou shall not steal, thou shall not lie, thou shall not covet the wife of another man, thou shall not make false allegations against an honest man etc. are chiseled into stones that Moses brought down from the mountain as the commandments but all religions say the same thing.

The only problem is that for some people, these commandments remain elusive because to follow the commandments of any religion requires an honest conscience in a person. A good and honest person does not require Moses to tell him what is to be done or not done because he is guided by a moral conscience and does what is right all the time.

A Dutch fellow wrote in the newspaper here that once he loaned a fellow a big amount of money who said that he was in dire need and promised to return the loan in the future but never did. The Dutchman never saw the fellow again who had claimed to be his friend but let him down in a big disappointing way. He said that in his country people never did such things and always paid back what they borrowed but here in the Philippines, it is different.

There are many Indians here who can be seen riding their motorbikes. They loan money to vendors in the market and collect every day a part of the loan plus some interest so they are called five sixers by the locals derisively. They serve the need of very poor people this way using the micro financing method without collateral because banks do not give such loans. By and large most people borrowing money this way pay it back over a period of time but there are horror stories as well.

Many such money lenders are killed by those who borrow and do not like to pay back the loan. This is an ancient practice. Remember how a French King who borrowed enormous sums of money from the Knight Templars to fund his never-ending wars one day invited all the important Templars to a secret meeting to discuss how to pay back the money or ask for more?

The Templars did not know it but it was too late to escape the assassins who waited on the order of the king who found this way of wiping off his debt. Some of the Templars who had suspicion stayed back with most of their wealth in Jerusalem and hid it in a secret place there only to be looted by the Romans later on and carried back to Rome but that is another story.

The famous case of Grameen Bank in Bangladesh needs a mention here where a gentleman started loaning small amounts of money at low-interest to very needy and poor people to set up their own business this way. He did not ask for any collateral like the banks and helped millions of very poor and desperate people set up their own shop to earn money. He was very pleasantly surprised when more than 95% of the borrowers paid back the loan on time making the Grameen bank a success story. Bill Clinton asked his help to set up a similar micro financing project in rural and very poor Arkansas. I suspect that this honesty among the very poor in Bangladesh has something to do with their religion that tells them always to be honest. What is more interesting is the fact that women were more honest in repaying the loans than men.

I wonder if such a micro financing project could succeed here in the Philippines on a massive scale like in Bangladesh or elsewhere.

There was a time when the word of honor was sufficient for anyone to close a deal and a simple handshake was all that was needed but not anymore.

When I wanted to donate my house to the Rama Krishna mission in Lucknow, the lawyers looked very hard at the deed of donation as if to find some hidden intentions there and only after a thorough scrutiny they approved the document. They could not believe that someone out of pure goodwill donated his house to charity as if it was not a normal thing to do.

So I miss the pure hearted and good people who are honest and help others without a second thought and without expecting a return favor. I miss the time when people said what they meant and meant what they said. If they made a promise, they kept it.

Now there is so much apprehension, so much distrust, so much calumny and deceit that it makes you wonder why it is so. Why people in some countries have lost their moral conscience to do what is right all the time.

May be you will call me old-fashioned but some old fashioned values like honesty, truthfulness and decency are time-honored values that are universal in nature.

I hope that honesty becomes universal and not an exception to be rewarded when a janitor or taxi driver returns the money. Because when honesty becomes an exception making national headline then it shows the decadence and degeneration of values our ancestors held dear.

If you have children, teach them honesty because an honest person can never go wrong in life and will always do what is right without anyone telling him so like that girl in the supermarket.  Honesty is never outdated.

 

Note :  My blogs are also available in French, Spanish, German and Japanese  languages at the following links as well as my biography:

Mes blogs en français.

Mis blogs en espagnol

Blogs von Anil in Deutsch

Blogs in Japanese

My blogs at Wix site

tumblr posts    

Blogger.com

Medium.com

Anil’s biography in English.

Biographie d’Anil en français

La biografía de anil en español.

Anil’s Biografie auf Deutsch

Anil’s biography in Japanese

Биография Анила по-русски

Note : Many readers have told me that the Internet Explorer (IE) browser seems to be not compatible with wordpress.com so they have difficulties in viewing my blogs properly. I suggest that you download Opera mini or Firefox or Google chrome browsers to your devices to get fast browsing experience. Opera mini and Firefox browsers are free to download and are superfast. Hope this solves the problem.

How frugal should you be?

Synopsis: The value of frugality is discussed here that has shaped many nations after the last war but the concept of borrowing money to spend and not saving to meet the needs is sweeping the world with devastating impact on the lives of people who default.

How frugal should you be?

Source : Google photo

How frugal should you be?

In the daily struggle of life, one thing that everybody has to deal with is the mounting cost of living everywhere. People with fixed income worry more than those with unlimited resources so the 97% of the humanity has this pressing problem of how to deal with the limited income and still meet all the needs that the life demands.

The moment a child is born, the spending meter starts running and chalks up enormous bills before the child even leaves the hospital. One fellow smugly answered that it costs an average of USD 30000. 00 to have a child born in a hospital in the United States but the meter keeps running at full speed and chalks up over 250000 dollars to raise a child and put him through college. This figure is multiplied by the number of children a couple has or plans to have.

I have heard of horrible stories where a pregnant woman was denied hospital care because she did not have the medical insurance so she had to give birth in a parking lot in front of the hospital. This happens in a so-called developed country like the United States of America. This is not an isolated case.

In other countries they offer better and wider health care coverage to everyone irrespective of income like in Cuba and some Scandinavian countries that the capitalistic countries denigrate as socialism and welfare state that goes against their money-making and dehumanizing monetary system.

The average fixed income earner therefore has to contend with the enormous cost of living in most countries and figure out ways to make both ends meet at the end of the month. Most people in this world do not have reserves to fall back on in case of an emergency like accident or serious illness that require tremendous expenses so they are forced to buy insurance to cover those needs.

But what if you do not have the means to pay for the insurance because you live from hand to mouth and barely manage to pay for the most basic needs somehow by eating very poor quality food and living in slums? What if you live a precarious life only one step away from disaster and do not or cannot plan for your future?

The one country I admire most is Japan that was devastated by the last world war and where they had to rebuild their country from the ground up with very limited resources. One can only see the photos of Nagasaki and Hiroshima after the atom bomb but the whole country was devastated by the war that brought the country to its knees.

The same thing happened to Germany that was once a proud nation of art, culture and technology that the Germans were proud of. The carpet bombing of Berlin, Dresden and Cologne laid the whole cities waste that had to be rebuilt from scratch but both Japan and Germany did a splendid job of rebuilding their country. There is hardly any trace left of the destruction they suffered and the high price they paid in lives lost except in some cemeteries that very few visit and remember.

So what does it take a nation to rebuild itself after the war? Is sheer determination and moral strength enough or do they require something more? Is this a coincidence that people of China, Japan, Germany and Korea are noted for their frugality and sound money management skills? This frugality was born out of sheer necessity and a tremendous pride in their self-preservation. Borrowing money was considered shameful and degrading so they saved every penny they could to pay for the rainy days.

The Japanese government often borrows money from the private savings of common people to pay for the development of the country; such is the size of their private savings that is the envy of the world. We will not go into the reasons for the war that nations fight but rather focus on the reconstruction of the country after the war.

Filipinos also suffered a great deal during the war and were very hard pressed to find ways to survive when everything especially food was in short supply. The older generations that fought the war and survived are still very reluctant to speak about their sufferings and what they had to do to find food daily so they keep the next generation in ignorance the same way the Japanese, the Germans and the Koreans do not like to talk about their sufferings.

India is another country where people are proud and try very hard to live within their means and where almost everybody saves a part of what they earn. People save for the dowry they have to pay someday for their daughter’s weddings and pay for the education of their children. They save for the house they would one day like to build and they save for the retirement when the income goes down and the costs go up.

In our family the rule was that our parents paid for everything needed by cash because credit was a dirty word and something very shameful so they did not buy anything they could not pay for. We did not have fancy toys or new bicycles or gadgets because that was not the priority. The priority was to learn to live within our limited means and live with dignity. Believe it or not, this is still the practice in most families although the plastic credit cards and debit cards have started to be used by some.

It is nearly impossible to get a bank loan to build a house or buy a car or do anything because the banks ask for a collateral that protects their loan so they sit with trillions in cash and very few people to loan it to because people still shy away from credit because of its social stigma. It was the same in war devastated countries like Japan and still they managed to rebuild their country to make it a world economic power. They did it with their savings and still do.

Then came the credit cards. You can get anything by using your credit card. You want a house, a car, a TV, a wardrobe full of dresses, a vacation or anything else? It is easy. Just get a credit card and pay for it later with a high interest rate. If you default in your payment then the car, the house and anything else is taken away and you end up paying for the legal fees plus all other charges or go to jail. In some countries they insist that you have a credit card before you can rent a car or buy a house. The gas station attendant will not accept cash for the gasoline he sells after 5 pm so you must have a credit card.

They say that more people use credit , the more the economy grows but the economists will also tell you that such economies also tend to collapse like sand castles that have no solid foundation. You can live an artificial life on credit and pretend that you have a good standard of living but the bills keep piling up and soon you find yourself painted into a corner with no easy way out.

So what is the solution? Some people equate frugality with cheapskates but this is very misleading. A frugal person is wise and a very determined person who values his self-respect. He is also a proud person who is not under any obligation to anyone because no one bothers him with unpaid bills. He lives simply and makes sure that a part of his earning is saved every month. He knows how to manage his money and live within his means. He teaches his children also to be frugal and always save for the rainy days.

As a country grows and develops, people tend to get to earn more and get the benefit of employment and more disposable income so the younger generation forgets or ignores the frugality of their parents that made it possible for them to get the education and jobs later on. With more income, a reverse psychology kicks in and makes people say that we were poor and did not have the things we wanted but now we have more money so we will not be deprived and will not deprive our children.

I think the word deprivation comes at the cost of misunderstanding that living within your means and keeping your dignity is a difficult task that your parents performed admirably that collectively helped the country grow like Japan and China.

So frugality is not deprivation but a way to cope with the expenses that the older generation practiced and survived. A friend of mine noted that our parents enjoyed a better and higher quality of life because they lived in their house they built with cash and ate from metal utensils a better quality of fresh food than the present generation that worries about how to pay for the mortgages. They also have little savings because all they earn goes to pay for the car they can’t afford and 60 inch HDTV they can’t pay for in cash. People have gone from using high quality metal plates to stainless steel to china to plastic cups and plates to Styrofoam in just one generation not to mention the quality of food we eat so how the quality of life has increased? You tell me.

In some countries the employer pays the salary to an employee every two weeks instead of the end of the month because people are such poor managers of their money. We avoid going to Malls here in the Philippines at the start or the middle of the month when people get paid and rush to the Malls to splurge on things they can’t afford. You will never see so many pawn shops in any country like here. Every street corner has them where you can see people lining up to pawn their things so that they can get some money because they find themselves in dire needs and can’t manage their income so they borrow or pawn.

Once I saw a row of almost new cars parked in front of a bank here so I asked what these cars are for. The manager said that these cars are repossessed and are available for sale at a less than new price because they are slightly used. Why would any person get a car on credit that he knows he can’t pay for and one day will be taken away and his deposit money forfeited? It is because of false sense of ego and the tendency to show off that they are better off than they actually are.

But a sound money management in any family depends on a sound agreement between the spouses who jointly manage their income and do it wisely. Such couples are honest, hardworking and do not believe in self-aggrandizing ego because they are humble people. They also do not have bad habits like smoking, drinking, gambling and taking risks with the well-being of the family at the cost of jeopardizing the safety of the children. They also are good planners and save for the future of the children so that someday they can be sent to good universities to get quality education that may later lead to good jobs.

They save for the marriages of their daughters and save for their own medical care in the old age because they do not want to become dependent on their children to take care of them when they are old and sick. Such people have tremendous self-respect and go to their graves with their head high because they lived a frugal life that made them take care of their family the best way they knew how. To call them cheapskates is a gross misunderstanding of the word frugal.

So ask yourself how frugal should you be.

 

Note :  My blogs are also available in French, Spanish, German and Japanese  languages at the following links as well as my biography:

Mes blogs en français.

Mis blogs en espagnol

Blogs von Anil in Deutsch

Blogs in Japanese

My blogs at Wix site

tumblr posts    

Blogger.com

Medium.com

Anil’s biography in English.

Biographie d’Anil en français

La biografía de anil en español.

Anil’s Biografie auf Deutsch

Anil’s biography in Japanese

Биография Анила по-русски

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